Until Every One Comes Home Safe, Healthy, and Proud

I must admit that in previous years, I did not fully appreciate the meaning of Veterans’ Day.  I acknowledged it as a day off from school or work, and an opportunity for department stores to have sales.  Now, it has a completely different meaning for me.

Two of my best friends are in the military.  One is a Marine, and the other is a member of the National Guard.  I think of them daily, and I am constantly praying for their safety and sanity.  While they were away at military trainings and boot camp, I prayed that they would not be hurt or become discouraged.  I have looked forward to their emails, phone calls and letters; opportunities to know they are safe and doing well.   Now my prayer is that they never experience the atrocities of war.  I pray that God protects them from any harm or danger.  I pray that they find their way home and never forget they are loved.

It is easy to say you appreciate living in the Land of Free when you are not personally connected to those who fight for your freedom.  The family members, friends, and loved ones of military personnel are invested in the well-being of their soldiers.  We are connected to their fights, struggles, and victories.  Every loved one wants their soldier to come back home.  We also want our soldier to return just as they left – healthy, happy, and mentally stable. 

I believe America is a country based on the principles of hard work, pride, and determination.  All of its people have a unique story.  The descendants of the Founding Fathers are cognizant of the journey that began as an escape from persecution.  The Native Americans whose ancestors were indigenous people struggled to be heard and appreciated.  The offspring of slaves who were forced to toil the land and build this country from the ground up have fought for their rights and civil liberties.   All of the aforementioned groups are only select examples of the cultures that come together to form a metaphorical “salad” of citizens.  (I do not like the idea of a melting pot because Americans are not the same.)  Americans share a common thread – love.  I believe anyone can say they are proud to be an American, and that they support their troops.  However, not everyone can honestly say they have shown their pride and love through actions. 

Every civilian, as my friends call me, can do something to improve the life of military service members.  Prayer and positive thoughts are always good things.  Even if you do not agree with the war, it is important to recognize those who would give their life to protect ours.  Volunteering to make care packages or write letters of encouragement lift a soldier’s spirits.  (We all know there’s nothing better than homemade chocolate chip cookies.)  Visiting a local VA to read or talk to a veteran, who has lost the functioning of limbs and senses that we take for granted, can be a humbling experience.  Even more humbling is listening to the story of a serviceman who has served well.  One veteran who makes millions of people proud is J.R. Martinez.

Actor and veteran J.R. Martinez has recently shown America that life does not end after returning home from war.  Upon first glance, it is easy to only see J.R.’s physical scars.  But if you allow yourself to look deeper, you will see a courageous and humble human being who is not afraid to love, laugh, and live.  Until I heard his story, I did not realize the veteran is only three years older than me.  His TV interviews portrayed such wisdom that I assumed he was much older. 

In 2003, a month after he was deployed to Iraq, J.R. was severely injured when his Humvee crossed a land mine.  According to his biography, he suffered burns to more than 40% of his body, and has undergone more than 33 different.  Despite all of this, J.R. realized that his story and recovery could help others continue to fight for their lives. 

I first saw J.R. on all my children.  I was surprised the soap opera was willing to show an actual military veteran.  But I was proud of his story, and incredible acting ability.  He was funny, talented, and a delight to watch.  Now, he continues to amaze me with his performances on Dancing with the Stars.  Every time I watch him, I can’t help but to sit on the edge of my seat with anticipation and excitement.  I literally get goose bumps!  I will be sad to see this season come to an end.

I haven’t met J.R. in person, but his impact and courageous spirit transcend television and radio frequencies.  He has danced right into my heart, and I hope I will carry his message of hope with me forever and always.  It is not the number of medals a person has, or the number of insurgents they have killed, that makes a person heroic.  A hero has the ability to overcome unforeseen obstacles, fights to survive, and perseveres despite the odds. 

I thank J.R. for being a beacon of hope and happiness.  I thank him for his service.

We each have a purpose in life, and the ability to positively affect the lives of others.  I hope I will be able to make a lifelong contribution to military personnel by providing counseling and mental health services.  I am incredibly disappointed with the limited availability of mental health services available to our returning soldiers and their family members.  No one can return home exactly as they left after months away from their families and friends, and experiencing hostile situations.  All of our service members deserve the opportunity to be mentally sound.  Also, the families should be supported throughout the transitional periods, and given the opportunity to learn how to cope with the lifelong changes.  My goal is to help fulfill the needs of our service members, and help them to restore and improve their interpersonal relationships - maintain their self-worth.

As First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden have reminded us, we must commit ourselves to thanking and servicing our military families.  “There are millions of Americans all across this country who are working hard every day to find new ways to honor military families’ service”, said First Lady Obama.  I challenge every civilian to be an agent of positivity and hope for our military personnel.  

If you’re not sure where to start, the USO will help.  The United Service Organizations was formed in 1941 by President Franklin D. Roosevelt.  The core values of the USO are: do the right thing, respect, excellence, collaboration, accountability, gratitude, and innovation.  For more information on how you can “do the right thing”, visit http://www.uso.org/. 

God speed.  And to our servicemen and women, thank you.

This image is courtesy of Google.

Great Music ... Where It All Begins!

I love great music. 

This love began the day I was born.  According to my Mother, I should not have developed into a music enthusiast.  While she was pregnant with me, she had very strict rules regarding music.  My Dad couldn’t play it in the car, and there was no stereo time in the house.  My love for music was nourished by my Father’s love and determination.

For as long as I can remember, I was surrounded with R&B classics, jazz, blues, gospel, and funk.  If he owned, I listened to it, and loved it.  He has taught me that you music allows you the freedom to lose awareness of space and time, and drift into another dimension.  Just as Charlie was surrounded by luscious molten rivers and sugar fields in the Chocolate Factory, great music envelopes me in a warm blanket of notes, rifts, and beats.

Last night, I was honored to experience the genius that is Lalah Hathaway live and in person.  Of all the concerts I have gone to, this performance definitely landed in my top three.  No opening act, or fillers during the show.  I cried twice, cheered until I thought I was going to lose my voice, and prayed the night would never end.  Just Lalah, her two phenomenal back ground singers, and a band that that was beyond extraordinary.  In fact, to call them background singers is unfair.  I have never before seen an artist give their background singers and band as much recognition and space to perform as Lalah gave hers.  I felt the concert was a fun collaboration of three singers and four instrumentalists, instead of the usual headliner who stands in front of the stage, and hogs the microphone and spotlight for herself. 

In case you didn’t know, Lalah is the daughter of the incomparable Donny Hathaway.  In a short amount of time, Donny developed many timeless and passionate classics that connect with all generations.  My favorites are the masterpieces “A Song for You” and “For All We Know”.  My best description would not do the songs justice.   This might sound weird, but I love when you can feel an artist’s pain and trials in a song.  For me, these characteristics show the humanity and sincerity in the artist’s lyrics.  This cannot be produced using sound machines or synthesizers.  You either have the gift, or you don’t.  True musical talent is raw and untarnished.  It is God’s blessing in its purist form.  I believe that if you listen closely to Donny’s music, you can hear his cries to God.  His pleas for peace and love that transcended the schizophrenia that plagued his mind.  You hear his soul.

This attribute is one he passed on to his daughter, Lalah.  The sincerity in her music is refreshing and unique.  Even though her first album was released in 1990, her sound maintains the ability to breath life into every nook and crevice in the reach of her voice.  I first fell in love with Lalah Hathaway when I heard her song “Forever, For Always, For Love”.  I am a sentimental romantic.  The naive part of me wants to believe that love is everlasting and can withstand the turbulence of life.  This song found the dreamer in me, and was eternally nestled in my heart.  My favorite part of the song says:

“I’d be a fool to ever change,

If he says he loves the way I am.

I’d be a fool to ever change.  

If he says he loves the way I am. 

It’s gonna be starting here, starting now.

Forever, for always, for love.”

I can only hope that when I meet that special someone, it is just that.  Forever.  For always.  For Love.

Lalah was knighted the First Daughter of Soul for a reason.  I’m sure it’s not easy when your father had an unequivocal voice that was admired, loved, and revered by so many.  With humility and grace, she surpasses all expectations and takes you on her own personal journey.  This is apparent in her renditions of “For All We Know” and “A Song for You”.  If you close your eyes, you feel like you have a direct line to Heaven to talk to those you have loved and lost.  Perhaps she is talking to her father, as she effortlessly sings and respects every note of the songs.     

The perfect album to use as an Intro to Lalah is her newest CD, Where It All Begins, which was released in October.  A few of my favorites are “Small of My Back,” “Lie to Me,” and “If You Want To.”  I believe the upbeat tempo of many of the songs is a good way to ease into the mastermind that is Lalah Hathaway.

As the one and only Rachelle Ferrell said, “Her voice is like rich, melted, organic chocolate.” 

I love chocolate.  I love music.  I love Lalah Hathaway.

Photo is courtesy of Google.

Better Late than Never

As a child, I always heard, “She doesn’t act like the other kids.  She’s different.  She acts older”.  Unique has been my middle name from the beginning of my life.  And it is a title I proudly claim. 

At heart, I am and always have been a writer.  Writing was my saving grace at times when I was uncertain of my sanity and health.  God gave me a gift.  It is not always pristine or concise.  But it is pure.  Strong.  My own.  For a while now, I have tried to suppress the writer in me and focus on other things, like graduating from school.  Now, I am beyond ready to reclaim my voice. 

I am a Southern girl at heart.  I have an appreciation for my roots, which run deep in the Georgia red clay like the Nile running through Egypt.  My ancestors were slaves, sharecroppers, land owners.  They fought to establish their independence in the South, and refused to run away from what was theirs.  The South is what I know and love. 

When I think of a belle, a beautiful, charming young woman comes to mind.  She has strong morals, a sense of loyalty and responsibility.  She follows the most important societal rules, and is patient and kind.  She is recognizably flirtatious, but she is a lady regardless of the situation.  A belle recognizes and respects tradition.  She honors her mother and father, and has faith when others cannot. 

What’s the moderne twist?

While I like dresses and skirts, I wear pants on a regular basis.  I have no problem speaking my mind, and will defend myself, and those I love, when necessary.  I associate with people based on their character, not their social standing or ethnicity.  I’m African American, and damn proud of it.  That’s another thing – I curse on occasion.  I don’t wait on any many to fight my battles or solve my problems.  In fact, I help them on occasion.  (If my brother reads this, he will definitely shake his head.)

Before my literary friends begin going crazy, my use of the word moderne is a play on words.  I like having a little fun.  This is my story.  A twenty-something belle who is trying to find her way in so many parts of her life.

In the second grade, I proudly proclaimed to my class, “I’m going to be an obstetrician”.  To my teacher’s surprise, I knew what that was, and what they did.  I simply told her, “I want to deliver babies!”  I wanted to be a part of a child’s journey, from the moment they took their first breathes.  And this was my intention.  Until I took Organic Chemistry at the University of Georgia.  My first F in a class, but not my downfall. 

It was at that time I began to search my soul for who I was – not who the six-year old girl inside of me wanted me to become.  I realized I wanted to help people navigate their way through life.  This led me to Psychology.  Before you can help someone, you have to know how they think.  Freud, Watson and Erikson all became my friends.  But still, I felt there was something missing.  I was Dorothy on the Yellow Brick road, trying to find my way home.  God led me to a little white house across the street from my dormitory.  Inside, was the Women’s Studies Department.

Before becoming indoctrinated into the feminist lifestyle, I thought feminists were overpowering, loud White women who screamed at others to get their point across.  It was an ugly picture, I know.  But after Intro to Women’s Studies, the feminist lying dormant inside of me was set free and encouraged to shine.  I realized all feminists are not loud and obnoxious; similar to how all White people aren’t racist or members of the KKK.   (In case you were wondering, I like the art of sarcasm.)  Any woman, or man, who loves, respects, defends the honor of, and appreciates women is a feminist.  There are no specifications based on age, race, gender, ethnicity, or physical characteristics.  Therefore, I am a feminist.  If you would like to be precise, according to Alice Walker’s definition, I am a womanist.

My spirituality is the basis of who I am, and how I am still living.  At a young age, I was taught how to pray and talk to God.  This is the greatest gift my parents and grandmother have ever given me.  I hope to be blessed to pass it on to my children and grandchildren.

My career is going in the right direction, if I do say so myself.  Four years after graduating from UGA, I am preparing to receive my Master’s in Counseling and be a licensed associate therapist.  I have no doubt that God will guide my path in the right direction, and hold my hand as I walk on this journey.

Now my love life is a different story.  There have not been any Aha! moments after an episode of Oprah, or a Prince Charming to carry me off into the sunset on his white stallion.  As an adult, I have only had ONE boyfriend.  I have liked, loved, and lost.  The truth is my love life is frustrating the hell out of me!  Hopefully, this blog will allow me the space to discover what I want, and the catharsis I need to work past all of my issues.

Well, that’s me - a daughter, sister, and friend.  An independent, Southern belle who loves tradition, but is always ready to add an exciting twist to life.  For too long, I have deprived myself of the opportunity to blog.  I am embracing technology, turning over a new life, and inviting whoever reads this on the journey.  

Welcome to my Moderne Day Life.