Looking for Something New...

Companionship. 

This one word sums up what I feel is missing in my life right now. 

But before I go any further, because I can hear my mom’s voice in my head, let me clarify something.  I am not ready for marriage, or an intense relationship. 

Many times, companionship and marriage are viewed as synonymous, and in this instance, they are not.  I am ready for an active dating life that brings the opportunity to meet new people, have engaging conversations, and be around someone who understands my nerdy ways.

Looking back on the past three years, I can understand why my love life has been practically nonexistent.  In 2008, I moved back to Atlanta and enrolled in a Masters program.  I was adjusting to being home and further away from my boyfriend.  I also felt a little lost about what I wanted to do with my life.  I enjoyed the opportunity to spend more time with my family, and reconnect with friends that I missed when I lived in Memphis.  The following year, my boyfriend and I broke up, and my priorities shifted once again.  I threw myself into my education and career even more.   I completed a ten month internship, studied for grueling exams, and transitioned into full-time positions.   For a while, the residual pains from my previous relationship deterred me from seeking another one.  I was uninterested in sharing my time, space, and emotions with someone new.

My feelings about not having a relationship swing on a pendulum between contentment and annoyance.  Now, as 2013 peeks around the corner, I have developed a desire to enjoy someone’s company and affection.  And while I love my friends dearly, I cannot help but feel like the third wheel when I’m in certain situations.  Most of my girlfriends either have a boyfriend or date on a regular basis.  I live vicariously through them in terms of romantic escapades.  I can honestly say that I am ready to re-enter the world of dating.  Not automatically get a boyfriend and jump into a relationship, but date. 

One of the things I miss most about dating is the communication.  The great thing about meeting someone you are compatible with is that it makes the communication easier and more engaging.  My previous relationship was long distance, and was sustained through verbal interactions.  I realize I sometimes took for granted the good morning text message that greeted me when I opened my eyes.  The late night conversations that stimulated my mind and simultaneously calmed my spirit.  And then, there were the Stevie Wonder moments that led him to call and say I love you. 

I would be a liar if I said I didn’t miss the physical benefits of dating and having a boyfriend.  While I am a completely respectable belle, I am also very human.  There is comfort found in being close to someone you care about.  A strong hug can dispel the deepest insecurities and provide encouragement through the rough times.  This may sound crazy, but a warm embrace given by a man who has just the right amount of cologne on is magical – especially when you can comfortably rest your head on his chest. 

I recognize that right now, I probably sound like a big, sentimental sap.  In some ways, I am a hopeless romantic who wants to be swept off her feet and held close by her beau.  But for the past few months, the harsh reality of being a single, educated, African-American woman in Atlanta has hit me hard – right in the chest!  I have recognized that having a social life is pertinent to my mental stability.  Working seven days a week caused stress, isolation, and fatigue.  While my family, education, and career are extremely important to me, I need to achieve a balance.  A healthy balance that allows me to enjoy my twenties while I am still in them.    

So, where does all of this self-reflection leave me?

Single, but ready to open myself up to new possibilities.  I recently ended a 3-month subscription to Match.com.  The details of that experience will be discussed in an upcoming blog. But, I will say that I do not have any regrets.   

I am alone, but not lonely.  I have always said that I would rather be alone and happy, than in a relationship and miserable.  The time I have to achieve interpersonal growth is priceless, and I do not take it for granted.

It also leaves me with a myriad of emotions that have the potential to drive any woman crazy.  But amidst the frustration and impatience, there is hope and resolve.  I have no doubt that one day, I will have a relationship that brings me joy, stability, and excitement. 

But in the meantime, getting back into the dating scene is a gigantic step I am ready to take!

I've Been a Bad, Bad Girl!

I cannot believe it has been over eight months since my last blog!  I must say, that is absolutely ridiculous, and I have placed myself on punishment. 

Writing is such a huge part of who I am, and I have not been fair to myself these past few months.  This is one of my greatest coping skills and neglecting it only hinders my growth.  I have plenty to say, a lot of self-exploration to do, and many adventures to undertake. 

So, with that said, I’m back!  I really have to stay on top of my game, and I hope that whoever reads this will encourage me to do the same. 

Here is my journey as a Moderne Day Belle…

She Loved the Lord: A Thank You to Mrs. Whitney Houston

Today, I was moved to tears as I viewed the Homegoing Service of Mrs. Whitney Houston.  Although I was not there physically, nor do I know the family personally, I felt it was an opportunity to pay my respects.

As I watched the funeral, I realized the spiritual significance of the event.  The service did not only honor a woman whose musical talents were unparallel to any other singer or artist.  Whitney was a mother.  A daughter.  A sister.  A friend.

Whitney Houston used her fame and celebrity status to share a simple, but often forgotten, message: Jesus loves you.

She beautifully declared her love for the Lord countless times.  The soundtrack for The Preacher’s Wife contains 15 records that compel you to feel closer to God and give Him praise.  Since its release in 1996, the soundtrack has been a pivotal part of my family’s life.  Every Saturday, my mother would play the album as we cleaned the house.  After all, how can you invite God to sit and talk with you if there is no room for him to sit when He comes? 

The music gave us energy and peace.  In return, we gave God praise.  The song I Go to the Rock is my testimony.  As I listen to the words, my soul begins to speak:

The Lord is my Rock and my Redeemer.  When I am at my lowest, my God gives me the faith to stand.  When I am lost, the Lord serves as my compass.  When it seems that an army of people and demons are standing against me, God is the strength I turn to.  The ally I can always depend on.  The Lord is my salvation.  I will forever go to the Rock.

We do not always know why God does what He does.  But I do know at least a few things pertaining to the woman whose life is being celebrated and mourned today.  First of all, Whitney Houston loved the Lord and was not afraid to show it.  Secondly, Whitney introduced millions of fans to God through her music.  Thirdly, even in her passing, Whitney serves as a messenger for Jesus.

You see, today, millions of people watched the funeral because they loved and appreciated Whitney for her music and personality.  But more importantly, people who would have never set foot in a church, or attend a Baptist/Christian funeral, witnessed God in action.  It was clear that the Spirit of the Lord was in that place.  He was present through song.  He was present through the ministers who conveyed His message of love.  He was present in the words of encouragement that her friends gave to provide comfort and strength.  When the Spirit of the Lord is present, and acknowledged by His people, there are no limitations on the impact He can have on your life.

Mrs. Cissy Houston showed that she wanted her daughter to leave this Earth the same place she dedicated her life to God – in the church.  She deserves immense respect for doing what she knew was right, even though she was criticized and doubted by others.  The service showed that Whitney’s relationship with God was, and is, sacred.  Many people have the misconception that Christians are supposed to be nosy and judgmental.  This is the farthest from the truth, and I understood Reverend Winans when he said people often wish they had met Christ before they met the Christian.  No one has the right to judge anyone else’s relationship or journey with the Lord because it is a private matter.  We do not have the right to pass judgment at all.  The only thing we have the privilege to do is pray for one another wholeheartedly, and without traces of malice or discontent. 

I believe prayer and faith Move Mountains.  My prayer for today is that the people who were introduced to God while watching the service are inspired to seek Him like they never would have before.  I pray that Whitney’s mother and daughter will find comfort in God’s word, and the knowledge that she is at peace.  I pray that Whitney will be remembered for her legacy of music and love, and not for the hardships and trials she experienced. 

Believing in Christ does not mean we are not allowed to grieve.  Mourning Whitney’s passing will not be easy.  The death of a loved one never is.  .My Grandmother always reminded us that even Jesus wept.  The beauty of faith is believing with all of our hearts that we will see your loved ones again. 

I can only imagine how beautiful Heaven must sound.  It’s a constant Hallelujah festival that never ends.

As Bishop T.D. Jakes said so beautifully, love is more powerful than death.  Why? 

Because Jesus is love. 

Thank you Whitney.  Thank you.

A Belle's Valentine's Day Declaration

Today is the day most single Belles dread.  Valentine’s Day. 

Thankfully, this single woman is not afraid to embrace the day completely.  To understand my resolve, it is important to know the history behind it.

From the day I was born, my father and grandfather were my dependable Valentines.  When my brother came along, I was excited to have a sibling I could shower with love.  On my first Valentine’s Day, I was only a month old, my grandfather bought me a box of chocolates, a teddy bear, and a small bottle of perfume.  He wanted to make sure I knew he loved me.  And what better way is there to show love than giving a girl chocolate?  When I was four years old, I saw my dad give my mother a bouquet of red roses to commemorate the holiday.  I simply asked him, “Where are my flowers?”  I have received flowers from my dad every year since.

My conflicted feelings about Valentine’s began in high school.   I remember walking down the hallways and seeing hearts on students’ lockers.  The girls would walk around with their teddy bears all day long.  They were a sign that their boyfriends and sweethearts cared about them.  Then there were the darn candy grams, small bags filled with candy hearts and chocolate kisses, which were delivered during class.  I hated those damn candy grams.

The only Valentine I received in high school was from my friend Nick.  My mom and I helped him make the gift for his girlfriend, who was also my best friend.  As a thank you, he kindly bought me a pair of Winnie the Pooh socks and Patti Labelle’s book.  It was sweet of him, and greatly appreciated.

College was pretty much the same.  I never had a boyfriend around Valentine’s Day, so it was usually just me and the girls having fun.  I did have an odd date one year.  A cute guy named Peter asked to take me to the Valentine’s poetry slam.  Peter was a really nice and musically talented guy who had a thing for Black women.  And I did not have a problem with that.   

My hope in having a Valentine who wasn’t related to me was almost extinguished, until I met my ex-boyfriend.  To prevent myself from being disappointed, I tried not to make long term plans for our relationship.  He proved me wrong.  The time spent with him wasn’t just the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.  It was one of the best weekends of my life. 

It started on Friday.  I wasn’t expecting my boyfriend Ken to make it into town that night.  He was driving from Kentucky, and my only request was that he made it to Georgia safely.  That night, I was meeting two of my girlfriends at a restaurant for dinner and jazz music; something simple to kick off our weekend.  Well, it turned out that everyone had that same idea.  But I didn’t care.  My boyfriend made it in time to join us, and we had a great time.  After dinner, as we were walking out of the restaurant, I got such a huge surprise.  My best friend Shunta, who I call my fairy godmother, jumped from behind a pillar.  She moved to Tallahassee after she graduated from UGA, so we didn’t get to see each other as much as we used to.  We decided to go to one of my girlfriend’s apartments to hang out for a few hours.  As I looked around the room, I realized how happy I was.  I had my boyfriend and three of my closest friends with me.  The weekend continued to get better and better. 

I have loved Patti Labelle for as long as I can remember.  My car is named after her.  I dressed up as her for a friend Celerity Birthday Party in the fourth grade.  Her rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow makes me cry every time I hear it.  With that said, you can only imagine how excited I was to see her concert on Valentine’s Day.  My boyfriend was a trooper.  He sat beside me as I laughed, cried, and looked upon Mrs. Patti with adoration.  I don’t know of too many guys who would spend two and a half hours at a Labelle concert just to make their girl happy.  But he did.  And I was in heaven. 

That weekend, I walked away with more than just a box of chocolate and a white fluffy teddy bear named Zeus.  I was ecstatically in love and hopeful for the future.  He helped me to realize that true gentlemen still exist in the world.  This is a crucial piece of information for every belle to have.

Ken and I ended our relationship almost three years ago.  At the time, I didn’t comprehend how difficult it would be to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a single woman again.  I found out very quickly. 

The first Valentine’s Day after the breakup sucked.  I wanted to pop every balloon I saw, and throw every teddy bear in the garbage.  I was hurt and slightly bitter.  I planned to spend the entire day balled up on the couch, wearing my favorite sweat pants, and watching The Notebook over and over again.  The completion of my pity party was interrupted by my friend LaTia.  She convinced me to get off of my behind, shower, and put on a snazzy outfit.  We went to a wonderful hibachi grill to have dinner with another friend – it was Girls Night.  I will always be grateful to LaTia for her support and listening ears.  Even though I unconsciously tried to sabotage my Day of Love, I truly enjoyed myself!  After that night, I was determined to enjoy spending Valentine’s Day as a single woman!

The next year, LaTia and I treated ourselves to an amazing dinner at JCT, my favorite restaurant in Atlanta.  The meal was pricey, but the food was worth it.  Every time I think of the pork chop with duck sausage, my mouth waters.  I had a foodgasm that I never wanted to go away.  If you’ve had one before, you understand exactly what I mean.

I am not ashamed to proudly say I’m a single belle who is not afraid to spend Valentine’s Day without a beau.  This holiday does not only celebrate the love couples have for one another.  It celebrates love in every type of relationship, including family, friends, and even pets. 

My first Valentine wasn’t my father, grandfather or brother.  It wasn’t my friend Nick, or my ex-boyfriend Ken.  My first Valentine was God.  He loves me in a way that is pure and unyielding.  It is because of His love, that I am able to love myself.  And one of the many ways I plan to express my self-love and esteem is by treating myself to something sweet.

Unfortunately, I will be working all day.  In the afternoon, I have a late class that does not end until 10pm, which means dinner is out of the picture.  But if a Belle knows one thing, it is not to make any excuses!

Today, before class, I will enjoy the perfect cup of coffee and slice of tiramisu at Café Intermezzo.  I will not rush to finish my decadent meal, or worry about who sees me sitting alone.  Today, I am taking myself on the best kind of date – a peaceful one. 


Now please don't get me wrong.  I am looking forward to the annual gift my Dad buys me - Ferrero Rochet, my favorite chocolate treat.  And I happily and thankfully accept the flowers my brother sends.  Just being around my Mom is a blessing beyond compare!    

This is why I intend to give the one's I love as much affection as I can.  True love is giving unconditionally without expecting anything in return.  It is not bitter or selfish.  Envious or hurtful.  Love is life's greatest gift and simplest treasure.

I am certain that one day, when I have fallen in love, my Valentine will see that I am able to appreciate him because of the love I have for myself.  This is the secret to a loving and fulfilling relationship.

So my wonderful readers, this is my declaration:

I, LaRonda Marie, do promise to enjoy my Valentine's Day and cast aside all sadness, unfulfilled wishes, and traces of bitterness.  I promise to love myself unconditionally 365 days of the year.  I promise to be thankful for the family members and friends who do not wait until Valentine's Day to express their love for me.  I promise give love and accept all the love that comes my way.  This is my beloved promise to all those I hold dear, and the love who is sure to come.

Happy Valentine’s Day Belles!  Let’s make it a great one!

Goodbye, Old Friend.

One of life’s greatest heartbreaks is the loss of an old childhood friend.

About three weeks ago, my friend Brandon was admitted to the hospital for severe complications from cancer.  He is only a couple of years younger than me.

Today, we received a phone call from his mother.  His condition has worsened, and he is not expected to recover.

I have known Brandon all of my life.  Our families met in my Grandma Gertie’s church.  As the Pastor, she made sure that all of the children in her congregation felt loved and special.  We were the young sheep in her flock.  Brandon and I learned basic life tenants that we would use all of our lives.  She taught us the importance of prayer and loving God. 

My Grandma encouraged us to use our talents for praise and worship.  Brandon and his brother played the drums.  His sister Shermon and I, along with my brother and cousins, sang in the choir.  She encouraged me to read my poems and share them with the world.  We all had a place in the church to shine and uplift the spirits of others.  That is the meaning of praise.  It is the ability to give thanks to the Lord and touch others’ souls.

One of my fondest memories with Brandon was in our Christmas play.  I was Mary.  He was Joseph.  And a Cabbage Patch doll was Baby Jesus.  I remember feeling giddy, shy, and nervous all at the same time.  I think I was worried the congregation would be able to see that I liked Brandon.  What I didn’t realize was that they already knew.

Over the years, we didn’t see each other every week at church.  My Grandma wasn’t able to preach, and our paths went in different directions.  But there is always love and adoration between the two of us.  Both of us have younger siblings who looked to us for guidance and support.  We talked about the responsibility and blessings that came with being the oldest child.  By doing so, we served as a comfort for one another.    

I have always respected Brandon for the love he showed my Grandmother.  He loved her as if she was his own Grandma.  No matter what mistakes he made, or how mad he made her, she always loved him.  She taught him that perfection is an unattainable expectation.  All that matters is when you get up after falling, you try again (and remember what didn’t work the first time).  Unless you’re a member of the Holy Trinity, you will make mistakes.  Forgiveness is the cornerstone of love.

When my Grandma passed away in 2007, Brandon and his family were there.  They are our family.  He held me as we cried and prayed.  He made me laugh as we reminisced about Easter egg hunts, old school crushes, and how old our parents were.  At the gravesite he held my hand, and told me my Grandma would be proud of my hat.  He always has been good at giving compliments and being a gentleman.

One of the things that gives me comfort is knowing he will be greeted at the pearly gates by Saint Peter and those he loves.  His Grandmother and Aunt, along with my Grandma, will all be there with open arms saying, ‘Welcome Home’. 

My heart aches for his mother.  No parent imagines the day they will have to bury their child.  Life is so unpredictable and cruel at times.  I cannot imagine what his brother and sister are going through.  I know they are devastated because I would be if anything happened to the first love of my life. 

We cannot always see or understand God’s plan, but I know He has everything under control.  Faith is trusting in God and the love He has for us.

It is ironic that the last time Brandon and I saw each other was at the funeral of our church’s elder.  During the service, there were tears of sadness and moments of silence.  But something amazing happened afterward.  We saw each other, and laughed.  Our inner child kicked into high gear and made us smile even though we were surrounded by grief.  As we all worked together to serve the family members and guests who came to say goodbye, we stood with our heads held high.  We all knew Pastor Gertie would be so proud of our ability to love through acts of service -helping others when they are in need.

I won’t be able to talk to Brandon before he passes.  His mother is with him in a Chicago at a hospital.  But it is my belief that as a person’s soul is transitioning to Heaven, they are able to connect with their loved ones on Earth.  While I cannot look into his eyes, or hold his hand, I can speak to his spirit:

My Beloved friend Brandon,

I love you.  I will miss you.  I know you are at peace, and that you will not feel any pain.  I am proud of the man and father you grew up to be.  Your children will know of your compassion.  Your mother will embrace your smile.  Your brother and sister will remember your leadership.

Tell Grandma I say hello.  Give her a kiss for me.

Brace yourself, for I have no doubt that when you see God, He will simply say,

“Well done my good and faithful servant.  Well done”.

Special Note:

I wrote this entry on January 26^th around 1 am.  

This morning when I woke up, my mother told me Brandon passed away. 

Carry those you love in your heart.  Be kind to one another.

'Red Tails' Soars into Theaters... Are you Along for the Ride?

This past September, I was privileged to witness my best friend receive his wings as a Marine.  I was proud to be among his family and friends who loved and supported him on that day.  As I prepared for the ceremony, I looked for a gift to present to my friend.  What do you get a Marine who was just winged by the United States military?  A model of the airplane or helicopter he would fly?  A really nice watch engraved with his initials?  A significant piece of Marine memorabilia?

As I was brainstorming and thoroughly searching the Internet, my father made a suggestion.  “Why don’t you get him something related to the Tuskegee Airmen?”  I was shocked to admit that it was a great idea.

The Tuskegee Airmen contributed a great deal to the United States and future African-American pilots.  They were the first Black pilots to fly and sustain combat during World War II.  The pilots were forced to train and learn in segregated classrooms.  Many considered them have a lower intelligence and ability than their White counterparts. 

Although their bravery and commitment is often overlooked, the legacy they left is indestructible.  After extensive research, I decided on a statue made by Thomas Blackshear called The Tuskegee Airmen.  It is a beautiful piece of art, and a dynamic reflection of American history that I believe my friend will have for years to come.

Needless to say, I found a rejuvenated love for the legacy of the Tuskegee Airmen.  I was ecstatic when I saw the preview for the movie Red Tails, a George Lucas film that tells the story of the Tuskegee Airmen.  The Airmen painted the tail of their designated planes red to distinguish themselves from the rest of the pilots. 

Although I was elated, I was upset that my first preview of the film was on television approximately three weeks prior to the theatrical release.  The previews for most films are shown countless times on television, in the theatres, and broadcast on radio stations months before the release.  Films that are based on medial concepts and have redundant plots are publicized tirelessly on multiple media outlets. 

So why is it that a historically relevant film that tells the story of American citizens who fought tirelessly, and died bravely, for their country does not receive considerable media attention or publication? 

I could say it is because the film is about war.  However, I would be wrong because Pearl Harbor, Saving Private Ryan, and Schindler’s List were all successful films that reflected times of war.

Perhaps it is because the film was produced by a company that does not make reputable work?  I have two words for you: George Lucas. 

Just maybe it is because the contributions of the Airmen have not been substantiated or recognized by the United States government.  In 2007, President George Bush honored the Tuskegee Airmen with the Congressional Gold Medal.  He recognized the “unreturned salutes and unforgivable indignities” the Airmen faced.  I was elated to hear that just a few days ago, President Barack Obama and the first lady hosted a screening of Red Tails at the White House.

When I truly think about it, the only reason Red Tails has not received a substantial amount of recognition and praise is because of the all Black cast.  George Lucas, who funded the $90 million dollar project himself, was unable to get backing from major studios.  He stated, “It's because it's an all-black movie. There's no major white roles in it at all...I showed it to all of them and they said no. We don't know how to market a movie like this."

In this country, you will hear many people say they support the military.  They support our soldiers.  Unfortunately, many of the same patriots are selective about the military men and women they choose to support.  The majority of the vocal, die-hard patriots, especially those who reside in the southern states, only support military personnel who are heterosexual, Caucasian, and male.  They conveniently overlook those who are of different ethnicities, genders, and sexualities.  

I cannot begin to describe how angry I become when I think of the cynicism and hypocrisy many so-called Americans embody.  I believe the brave and selfless individuals who fight for the freedom and safety of the citizens of the United States should be afforded the recognition and valor they deserve - regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender, and cultural background.

This is why the movie Red Tails is so important.  The film crosses all of the divides and social constructions that promote hatred and racism.  It is an inspiring story of youthful, dedicated men who were willing to defend their country despite of the adversities. 

It is a story of hope and faith.  Love and pride. 

This week, we celebrated the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  The holiday was a reminder that freedom is made possible by the sacrifices of brave men and women whose names we will probably never verbalize.

If you are still not convinced to go see this film, allow me to offer other incentives.  The cast of Red Tails is comprised of talented, intelligent, and gorgeous men.  Let me reiterate gorgeous!  Terrence Howard, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Nate Parker, Ne-Yo, Tristan Wilds, Method Man, David Oyelowo, and many, many more.

Furthermore, George Lucas has promised Red Tails will not be a boring production that drills history lessons into our brain.  There is action, action, and more action.

I am pleased to say that this past week, I have seen an increase of advertisements, interviews, and previews for Red Tails.  From Good Morning America to OWN, people are trying to share the importance and historical significance of the film with the world.  We must also do our part.

I support this film not simply because I am African American.  I believe in this film because I am grateful for the sacrifices and hardships of the Tuskegee Airmen.  I am humbled by the contributions our military personnel, and their families, give on a daily basis. 

This weekend, as I celebrate my birthday, I look forward to going to the theatre with my family and watching Red Tails. 

I hope to see you there!  

Belle gets her Abs Kicked ... Pole Dancing Style!

Spinarella offers different types of classes to help bring out the “inner vixen” in everyone.  The class I attended was called Kick Ass Abs.  I now understand where it gets its name.  Not only did it kick my abs into gear, it kicked my ass, my legs, and everything in between.  The first part of the class was on yoga mats doing exercises intended to strengthen abdominal and leg muscles.  This was not as easy as one may think.  Picture being on the floor, with your back at a 45 degree angle, your legs in the air, and your arms on the sides of your legs.  I’m not going to lie.  I had to use my arms to support my knees and keep me upright.  I did what I could, and will improve from there.

The second part of Kick Ass Abs was targeted to strengthen the butt muscles and surrounding regions.  All I have to say is this.  I haven’t consciously used my pelvis in such a long time that I had to think hard about where it was.  This was a sad realization.

The last part of the class surprised me the most.  As we rolled up our yoga mats, the instructor casually said she was going to get chairs so we could practice our splits.  Splits!  I have not done a split since I was 6!  I lumped it into the category of things this Belle’s body was not made to do.  God did not design my body to cartwheels, acrobatic stunts, or hang upside down.  The mere idea of doing a split freaked me out beyond belief!

One by one, I saw the ladies in my class do the splits.  The instructor placed two wooden chairs in the middle of the floor facing each other.  We were instructed to place one hand in the middle of the seat of both chairs, and slowly extend our legs in opposite directions.  The speed and ease the women showed when doing the splits really shocked me!  I was thinking to myself, ‘I know these big girls won’t be able to get all the way down there’.  I was quickly proved wrong! 

After a few minutes, it was my turn.  “Don’t be scared”, the instructor encouraged.  Whenever someone tells you not to be scared, it’s a signal that you should be afraid.  Very afraid!  But she calmly guided and assisted me through the process of doing the split.  She was patient and kind.  And to my surprise, I was able to get pretty low to the floor!  Twice! 

What did this particular exercise remind me?  Nothing is impossible with a little determination, positive energy, and guidance.

Today, I am extremely sore all over.  Muscles that I didn’t know I had hurt.  It hurts to laugh, sit up, walk, clap my hands – pretty much everything hurts but breathing.  I will repeat my Epsom salt bath and Icy Hot application to help ease the soreness.

If I hadn’t prepaid for 10 sessions on Groupon, I would probably try to talk myself out of going.  But it was such a great deal that I absolutely couldn’t resist!  (I will have to write about my profound affection for Groupon at a later time.)  I also have an accountability partner who is excited, enthusiastic, and hard core.  She and I met during our internship, and I truly believe we are kindred spirits.  We’re both intelligent and determined young women.  We’re extremely goofy and like to have fun.  All during the Kick Ass Abs adventure, she kept telling me I could do it.  She’s even in the process of writing an accountability contract to keep me motivated and on point.  Now that’s dedication!

I will be writing about the Spinarella experience over the next few weeks.  I hope to learn so much more about myself during this venture.  I was always taught that my body is a temple.  But it is not just the appearance of the temple that is important.  You have to be healthy spiritually, physically, and mentally.  I have allowed myself to use my pursuit of higher education and demanding jobs as a reason to neglect certain aspects of my general health.  Over the last few years, I rarely made the time to work out because I felt I didn’t have any time to spare.  This is the end of that. 

I know this will not be easy.  I will probably curse more than a belle should, cry a few times, and think about quitting.   But in my spirit, I can hear my conscience saying, “I think I can!  I think I can!  I think I can!”

I know Spinarella will help to make me a healthier, less prudish, and more confident Belle.  My mother also told me that this will prepare me to “be ready for my future husband in the bedroom”.  What all that entails is a subject we may broach at a later time.

One down.  Nine to go!  I am seizing the moment, one pole at a time!

For more information on Spinarella and the classes they offer, visit http://www.spinarella.com/.

Ciao!