Goodbye, Old Friend.

One of life’s greatest heartbreaks is the loss of an old childhood friend.

About three weeks ago, my friend Brandon was admitted to the hospital for severe complications from cancer.  He is only a couple of years younger than me.

Today, we received a phone call from his mother.  His condition has worsened, and he is not expected to recover.

I have known Brandon all of my life.  Our families met in my Grandma Gertie’s church.  As the Pastor, she made sure that all of the children in her congregation felt loved and special.  We were the young sheep in her flock.  Brandon and I learned basic life tenants that we would use all of our lives.  She taught us the importance of prayer and loving God. 

My Grandma encouraged us to use our talents for praise and worship.  Brandon and his brother played the drums.  His sister Shermon and I, along with my brother and cousins, sang in the choir.  She encouraged me to read my poems and share them with the world.  We all had a place in the church to shine and uplift the spirits of others.  That is the meaning of praise.  It is the ability to give thanks to the Lord and touch others’ souls.

One of my fondest memories with Brandon was in our Christmas play.  I was Mary.  He was Joseph.  And a Cabbage Patch doll was Baby Jesus.  I remember feeling giddy, shy, and nervous all at the same time.  I think I was worried the congregation would be able to see that I liked Brandon.  What I didn’t realize was that they already knew.

Over the years, we didn’t see each other every week at church.  My Grandma wasn’t able to preach, and our paths went in different directions.  But there is always love and adoration between the two of us.  Both of us have younger siblings who looked to us for guidance and support.  We talked about the responsibility and blessings that came with being the oldest child.  By doing so, we served as a comfort for one another.    

I have always respected Brandon for the love he showed my Grandmother.  He loved her as if she was his own Grandma.  No matter what mistakes he made, or how mad he made her, she always loved him.  She taught him that perfection is an unattainable expectation.  All that matters is when you get up after falling, you try again (and remember what didn’t work the first time).  Unless you’re a member of the Holy Trinity, you will make mistakes.  Forgiveness is the cornerstone of love.

When my Grandma passed away in 2007, Brandon and his family were there.  They are our family.  He held me as we cried and prayed.  He made me laugh as we reminisced about Easter egg hunts, old school crushes, and how old our parents were.  At the gravesite he held my hand, and told me my Grandma would be proud of my hat.  He always has been good at giving compliments and being a gentleman.

One of the things that gives me comfort is knowing he will be greeted at the pearly gates by Saint Peter and those he loves.  His Grandmother and Aunt, along with my Grandma, will all be there with open arms saying, ‘Welcome Home’. 

My heart aches for his mother.  No parent imagines the day they will have to bury their child.  Life is so unpredictable and cruel at times.  I cannot imagine what his brother and sister are going through.  I know they are devastated because I would be if anything happened to the first love of my life. 

We cannot always see or understand God’s plan, but I know He has everything under control.  Faith is trusting in God and the love He has for us.

It is ironic that the last time Brandon and I saw each other was at the funeral of our church’s elder.  During the service, there were tears of sadness and moments of silence.  But something amazing happened afterward.  We saw each other, and laughed.  Our inner child kicked into high gear and made us smile even though we were surrounded by grief.  As we all worked together to serve the family members and guests who came to say goodbye, we stood with our heads held high.  We all knew Pastor Gertie would be so proud of our ability to love through acts of service -helping others when they are in need.

I won’t be able to talk to Brandon before he passes.  His mother is with him in a Chicago at a hospital.  But it is my belief that as a person’s soul is transitioning to Heaven, they are able to connect with their loved ones on Earth.  While I cannot look into his eyes, or hold his hand, I can speak to his spirit:

My Beloved friend Brandon,

I love you.  I will miss you.  I know you are at peace, and that you will not feel any pain.  I am proud of the man and father you grew up to be.  Your children will know of your compassion.  Your mother will embrace your smile.  Your brother and sister will remember your leadership.

Tell Grandma I say hello.  Give her a kiss for me.

Brace yourself, for I have no doubt that when you see God, He will simply say,

“Well done my good and faithful servant.  Well done”.

Special Note:

I wrote this entry on January 26^th around 1 am.  

This morning when I woke up, my mother told me Brandon passed away. 

Carry those you love in your heart.  Be kind to one another.

'Red Tails' Soars into Theaters... Are you Along for the Ride?

This past September, I was privileged to witness my best friend receive his wings as a Marine.  I was proud to be among his family and friends who loved and supported him on that day.  As I prepared for the ceremony, I looked for a gift to present to my friend.  What do you get a Marine who was just winged by the United States military?  A model of the airplane or helicopter he would fly?  A really nice watch engraved with his initials?  A significant piece of Marine memorabilia?

As I was brainstorming and thoroughly searching the Internet, my father made a suggestion.  “Why don’t you get him something related to the Tuskegee Airmen?”  I was shocked to admit that it was a great idea.

The Tuskegee Airmen contributed a great deal to the United States and future African-American pilots.  They were the first Black pilots to fly and sustain combat during World War II.  The pilots were forced to train and learn in segregated classrooms.  Many considered them have a lower intelligence and ability than their White counterparts. 

Although their bravery and commitment is often overlooked, the legacy they left is indestructible.  After extensive research, I decided on a statue made by Thomas Blackshear called The Tuskegee Airmen.  It is a beautiful piece of art, and a dynamic reflection of American history that I believe my friend will have for years to come.

Needless to say, I found a rejuvenated love for the legacy of the Tuskegee Airmen.  I was ecstatic when I saw the preview for the movie Red Tails, a George Lucas film that tells the story of the Tuskegee Airmen.  The Airmen painted the tail of their designated planes red to distinguish themselves from the rest of the pilots. 

Although I was elated, I was upset that my first preview of the film was on television approximately three weeks prior to the theatrical release.  The previews for most films are shown countless times on television, in the theatres, and broadcast on radio stations months before the release.  Films that are based on medial concepts and have redundant plots are publicized tirelessly on multiple media outlets. 

So why is it that a historically relevant film that tells the story of American citizens who fought tirelessly, and died bravely, for their country does not receive considerable media attention or publication? 

I could say it is because the film is about war.  However, I would be wrong because Pearl Harbor, Saving Private Ryan, and Schindler’s List were all successful films that reflected times of war.

Perhaps it is because the film was produced by a company that does not make reputable work?  I have two words for you: George Lucas. 

Just maybe it is because the contributions of the Airmen have not been substantiated or recognized by the United States government.  In 2007, President George Bush honored the Tuskegee Airmen with the Congressional Gold Medal.  He recognized the “unreturned salutes and unforgivable indignities” the Airmen faced.  I was elated to hear that just a few days ago, President Barack Obama and the first lady hosted a screening of Red Tails at the White House.

When I truly think about it, the only reason Red Tails has not received a substantial amount of recognition and praise is because of the all Black cast.  George Lucas, who funded the $90 million dollar project himself, was unable to get backing from major studios.  He stated, “It's because it's an all-black movie. There's no major white roles in it at all...I showed it to all of them and they said no. We don't know how to market a movie like this."

In this country, you will hear many people say they support the military.  They support our soldiers.  Unfortunately, many of the same patriots are selective about the military men and women they choose to support.  The majority of the vocal, die-hard patriots, especially those who reside in the southern states, only support military personnel who are heterosexual, Caucasian, and male.  They conveniently overlook those who are of different ethnicities, genders, and sexualities.  

I cannot begin to describe how angry I become when I think of the cynicism and hypocrisy many so-called Americans embody.  I believe the brave and selfless individuals who fight for the freedom and safety of the citizens of the United States should be afforded the recognition and valor they deserve - regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender, and cultural background.

This is why the movie Red Tails is so important.  The film crosses all of the divides and social constructions that promote hatred and racism.  It is an inspiring story of youthful, dedicated men who were willing to defend their country despite of the adversities. 

It is a story of hope and faith.  Love and pride. 

This week, we celebrated the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  The holiday was a reminder that freedom is made possible by the sacrifices of brave men and women whose names we will probably never verbalize.

If you are still not convinced to go see this film, allow me to offer other incentives.  The cast of Red Tails is comprised of talented, intelligent, and gorgeous men.  Let me reiterate gorgeous!  Terrence Howard, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Nate Parker, Ne-Yo, Tristan Wilds, Method Man, David Oyelowo, and many, many more.

Furthermore, George Lucas has promised Red Tails will not be a boring production that drills history lessons into our brain.  There is action, action, and more action.

I am pleased to say that this past week, I have seen an increase of advertisements, interviews, and previews for Red Tails.  From Good Morning America to OWN, people are trying to share the importance and historical significance of the film with the world.  We must also do our part.

I support this film not simply because I am African American.  I believe in this film because I am grateful for the sacrifices and hardships of the Tuskegee Airmen.  I am humbled by the contributions our military personnel, and their families, give on a daily basis. 

This weekend, as I celebrate my birthday, I look forward to going to the theatre with my family and watching Red Tails. 

I hope to see you there!