Goodbye, Old Friend.

One of life’s greatest heartbreaks is the loss of an old childhood friend.

About three weeks ago, my friend Brandon was admitted to the hospital for severe complications from cancer.  He is only a couple of years younger than me.

Today, we received a phone call from his mother.  His condition has worsened, and he is not expected to recover.

I have known Brandon all of my life.  Our families met in my Grandma Gertie’s church.  As the Pastor, she made sure that all of the children in her congregation felt loved and special.  We were the young sheep in her flock.  Brandon and I learned basic life tenants that we would use all of our lives.  She taught us the importance of prayer and loving God. 

My Grandma encouraged us to use our talents for praise and worship.  Brandon and his brother played the drums.  His sister Shermon and I, along with my brother and cousins, sang in the choir.  She encouraged me to read my poems and share them with the world.  We all had a place in the church to shine and uplift the spirits of others.  That is the meaning of praise.  It is the ability to give thanks to the Lord and touch others’ souls.

One of my fondest memories with Brandon was in our Christmas play.  I was Mary.  He was Joseph.  And a Cabbage Patch doll was Baby Jesus.  I remember feeling giddy, shy, and nervous all at the same time.  I think I was worried the congregation would be able to see that I liked Brandon.  What I didn’t realize was that they already knew.

Over the years, we didn’t see each other every week at church.  My Grandma wasn’t able to preach, and our paths went in different directions.  But there is always love and adoration between the two of us.  Both of us have younger siblings who looked to us for guidance and support.  We talked about the responsibility and blessings that came with being the oldest child.  By doing so, we served as a comfort for one another.    

I have always respected Brandon for the love he showed my Grandmother.  He loved her as if she was his own Grandma.  No matter what mistakes he made, or how mad he made her, she always loved him.  She taught him that perfection is an unattainable expectation.  All that matters is when you get up after falling, you try again (and remember what didn’t work the first time).  Unless you’re a member of the Holy Trinity, you will make mistakes.  Forgiveness is the cornerstone of love.

When my Grandma passed away in 2007, Brandon and his family were there.  They are our family.  He held me as we cried and prayed.  He made me laugh as we reminisced about Easter egg hunts, old school crushes, and how old our parents were.  At the gravesite he held my hand, and told me my Grandma would be proud of my hat.  He always has been good at giving compliments and being a gentleman.

One of the things that gives me comfort is knowing he will be greeted at the pearly gates by Saint Peter and those he loves.  His Grandmother and Aunt, along with my Grandma, will all be there with open arms saying, ‘Welcome Home’. 

My heart aches for his mother.  No parent imagines the day they will have to bury their child.  Life is so unpredictable and cruel at times.  I cannot imagine what his brother and sister are going through.  I know they are devastated because I would be if anything happened to the first love of my life. 

We cannot always see or understand God’s plan, but I know He has everything under control.  Faith is trusting in God and the love He has for us.

It is ironic that the last time Brandon and I saw each other was at the funeral of our church’s elder.  During the service, there were tears of sadness and moments of silence.  But something amazing happened afterward.  We saw each other, and laughed.  Our inner child kicked into high gear and made us smile even though we were surrounded by grief.  As we all worked together to serve the family members and guests who came to say goodbye, we stood with our heads held high.  We all knew Pastor Gertie would be so proud of our ability to love through acts of service -helping others when they are in need.

I won’t be able to talk to Brandon before he passes.  His mother is with him in a Chicago at a hospital.  But it is my belief that as a person’s soul is transitioning to Heaven, they are able to connect with their loved ones on Earth.  While I cannot look into his eyes, or hold his hand, I can speak to his spirit:

My Beloved friend Brandon,

I love you.  I will miss you.  I know you are at peace, and that you will not feel any pain.  I am proud of the man and father you grew up to be.  Your children will know of your compassion.  Your mother will embrace your smile.  Your brother and sister will remember your leadership.

Tell Grandma I say hello.  Give her a kiss for me.

Brace yourself, for I have no doubt that when you see God, He will simply say,

“Well done my good and faithful servant.  Well done”.

Special Note:

I wrote this entry on January 26^th around 1 am.  

This morning when I woke up, my mother told me Brandon passed away. 

Carry those you love in your heart.  Be kind to one another.