A Belle's Valentine's Day Declaration

Today is the day most single Belles dread.  Valentine’s Day. 

Thankfully, this single woman is not afraid to embrace the day completely.  To understand my resolve, it is important to know the history behind it.

From the day I was born, my father and grandfather were my dependable Valentines.  When my brother came along, I was excited to have a sibling I could shower with love.  On my first Valentine’s Day, I was only a month old, my grandfather bought me a box of chocolates, a teddy bear, and a small bottle of perfume.  He wanted to make sure I knew he loved me.  And what better way is there to show love than giving a girl chocolate?  When I was four years old, I saw my dad give my mother a bouquet of red roses to commemorate the holiday.  I simply asked him, “Where are my flowers?”  I have received flowers from my dad every year since.

My conflicted feelings about Valentine’s began in high school.   I remember walking down the hallways and seeing hearts on students’ lockers.  The girls would walk around with their teddy bears all day long.  They were a sign that their boyfriends and sweethearts cared about them.  Then there were the darn candy grams, small bags filled with candy hearts and chocolate kisses, which were delivered during class.  I hated those damn candy grams.

The only Valentine I received in high school was from my friend Nick.  My mom and I helped him make the gift for his girlfriend, who was also my best friend.  As a thank you, he kindly bought me a pair of Winnie the Pooh socks and Patti Labelle’s book.  It was sweet of him, and greatly appreciated.

College was pretty much the same.  I never had a boyfriend around Valentine’s Day, so it was usually just me and the girls having fun.  I did have an odd date one year.  A cute guy named Peter asked to take me to the Valentine’s poetry slam.  Peter was a really nice and musically talented guy who had a thing for Black women.  And I did not have a problem with that.   

My hope in having a Valentine who wasn’t related to me was almost extinguished, until I met my ex-boyfriend.  To prevent myself from being disappointed, I tried not to make long term plans for our relationship.  He proved me wrong.  The time spent with him wasn’t just the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.  It was one of the best weekends of my life. 

It started on Friday.  I wasn’t expecting my boyfriend Ken to make it into town that night.  He was driving from Kentucky, and my only request was that he made it to Georgia safely.  That night, I was meeting two of my girlfriends at a restaurant for dinner and jazz music; something simple to kick off our weekend.  Well, it turned out that everyone had that same idea.  But I didn’t care.  My boyfriend made it in time to join us, and we had a great time.  After dinner, as we were walking out of the restaurant, I got such a huge surprise.  My best friend Shunta, who I call my fairy godmother, jumped from behind a pillar.  She moved to Tallahassee after she graduated from UGA, so we didn’t get to see each other as much as we used to.  We decided to go to one of my girlfriend’s apartments to hang out for a few hours.  As I looked around the room, I realized how happy I was.  I had my boyfriend and three of my closest friends with me.  The weekend continued to get better and better. 

I have loved Patti Labelle for as long as I can remember.  My car is named after her.  I dressed up as her for a friend Celerity Birthday Party in the fourth grade.  Her rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow makes me cry every time I hear it.  With that said, you can only imagine how excited I was to see her concert on Valentine’s Day.  My boyfriend was a trooper.  He sat beside me as I laughed, cried, and looked upon Mrs. Patti with adoration.  I don’t know of too many guys who would spend two and a half hours at a Labelle concert just to make their girl happy.  But he did.  And I was in heaven. 

That weekend, I walked away with more than just a box of chocolate and a white fluffy teddy bear named Zeus.  I was ecstatically in love and hopeful for the future.  He helped me to realize that true gentlemen still exist in the world.  This is a crucial piece of information for every belle to have.

Ken and I ended our relationship almost three years ago.  At the time, I didn’t comprehend how difficult it would be to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a single woman again.  I found out very quickly. 

The first Valentine’s Day after the breakup sucked.  I wanted to pop every balloon I saw, and throw every teddy bear in the garbage.  I was hurt and slightly bitter.  I planned to spend the entire day balled up on the couch, wearing my favorite sweat pants, and watching The Notebook over and over again.  The completion of my pity party was interrupted by my friend LaTia.  She convinced me to get off of my behind, shower, and put on a snazzy outfit.  We went to a wonderful hibachi grill to have dinner with another friend – it was Girls Night.  I will always be grateful to LaTia for her support and listening ears.  Even though I unconsciously tried to sabotage my Day of Love, I truly enjoyed myself!  After that night, I was determined to enjoy spending Valentine’s Day as a single woman!

The next year, LaTia and I treated ourselves to an amazing dinner at JCT, my favorite restaurant in Atlanta.  The meal was pricey, but the food was worth it.  Every time I think of the pork chop with duck sausage, my mouth waters.  I had a foodgasm that I never wanted to go away.  If you’ve had one before, you understand exactly what I mean.

I am not ashamed to proudly say I’m a single belle who is not afraid to spend Valentine’s Day without a beau.  This holiday does not only celebrate the love couples have for one another.  It celebrates love in every type of relationship, including family, friends, and even pets. 

My first Valentine wasn’t my father, grandfather or brother.  It wasn’t my friend Nick, or my ex-boyfriend Ken.  My first Valentine was God.  He loves me in a way that is pure and unyielding.  It is because of His love, that I am able to love myself.  And one of the many ways I plan to express my self-love and esteem is by treating myself to something sweet.

Unfortunately, I will be working all day.  In the afternoon, I have a late class that does not end until 10pm, which means dinner is out of the picture.  But if a Belle knows one thing, it is not to make any excuses!

Today, before class, I will enjoy the perfect cup of coffee and slice of tiramisu at Café Intermezzo.  I will not rush to finish my decadent meal, or worry about who sees me sitting alone.  Today, I am taking myself on the best kind of date – a peaceful one. 


Now please don't get me wrong.  I am looking forward to the annual gift my Dad buys me - Ferrero Rochet, my favorite chocolate treat.  And I happily and thankfully accept the flowers my brother sends.  Just being around my Mom is a blessing beyond compare!    

This is why I intend to give the one's I love as much affection as I can.  True love is giving unconditionally without expecting anything in return.  It is not bitter or selfish.  Envious or hurtful.  Love is life's greatest gift and simplest treasure.

I am certain that one day, when I have fallen in love, my Valentine will see that I am able to appreciate him because of the love I have for myself.  This is the secret to a loving and fulfilling relationship.

So my wonderful readers, this is my declaration:

I, LaRonda Marie, do promise to enjoy my Valentine's Day and cast aside all sadness, unfulfilled wishes, and traces of bitterness.  I promise to love myself unconditionally 365 days of the year.  I promise to be thankful for the family members and friends who do not wait until Valentine's Day to express their love for me.  I promise give love and accept all the love that comes my way.  This is my beloved promise to all those I hold dear, and the love who is sure to come.

Happy Valentine’s Day Belles!  Let’s make it a great one!